On being disabled

Rage in a broken body leading into the void

I am 100% disabled according to the strange formula employed by my federal government. That could change soon, as Trumpstain plans to dismantle veteran benefits. <sarcasm>So what if people like me rely on the benefits to survive? A small price to pay for MAGA, even if it kills quite a few of us.</sarcasm>

What does being a disabled veteran entail? I sometimes punch and kick my wife while sleeping due to my nightmares of war and the nature of being human. I scream and fall down sometimes due to a recurring back injury. Then I crawl around on the floor groaning. This lasts hours to days to weeks. I am never, ever free of pain. Even after almost 20 years, it surprises me how much pain I have learned to live with, and how when it spikes, my body simply says, “fuck you,” and surrenders to the pain. There are many other dysfunctions that I will summarize as: my body tells me it is done quite often, and at very inopportune times. I hold down a job, but I do not know how. Maybe because I have …