Dispatches from a Dying Empire

Dispatches from a Dying Empire

Chronic pain and mental health

The psychology of hurting all the time

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Penfist
Aug 08, 2024
∙ Paid

I have been in constant pain for more than a decade. It started in the harsh landscape of Kuwaiti desert. My National Guard unit was mobilized to Baghdad to participate in the occupation of Iraq. Nowhere, Kuwait, was our last stop prior to entering the war zone. As a military journalist, I was tasked with carrying a lot of heavy broadcast and news gathering gear. Pulling a box that weighed far more than I did through desert sands in 40-mph winds proved fateful.

The author training on the M249 Squad Automatic Weapon in 2005.

I ripped something in my spinal column. But we had a war to fight. I pushed through the pain. I embraced the suck. I ignored my injury even though my unit members told me I looked pale and deathly. I took Motrin and limped my way through a year of mortars, rockets, IEDs and VBIEDs. I did my job of spreading all the good news that Iraq was now being Westernized. Right.

Pain, depression, and anxiety travel through similar pathways along your nervous system and share man…

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