As you lie dying
Memories of my dad as he passes away from his own cognitive biases
“There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared god, and eschewed evil. So god fucked with Job in the cruelest manner possible.”
— Translated from the Christian Bible
You are lying in a hospital bed intubated and unaware. I am re-living a childhood filled with great cognitive dissonance and constant questions that you never answered satisfactorily. Welcome to a tiny piece of the history of us.
The story of Job from the Christian book of fables is a primary example of why I rejected your belief system, dad. What kind of person bows down to a monster who, when happening upon a perfect man, then makes a cosmic bet with an agent of evil, whom it also created, about how much torment and suffering it will take to get this perfect man to curse the name of his creator.
Dad, you are dying of COVID-19 as I write these words and thoughts out. I only get my information second-hand these days because I have set boundaries necessary to …
